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So this is actually sort of embarrasing…

I am quiet comfortable being sarcastic and ridiculous, and I’m all for a little self-righteous ranting now and then. I’ve been doing the aforementioned things for as long as I can remember. I’m a painter, and while I’m no Rembrandt by any stretch of the imagination, I don’t mind posting pictures of projects I’ve worked on because I’m satisfied that every project, big or small, was done while upholding a fairly high standard I’ve set for myself. Most artists, whatever their medium, put a part of themselves into their work, and the work is a reward in itself. Blogging is sort of the same for me. I appreciate the fact that I have a few faithful readers and have met some absolutely fantastic people through this medium. I can certainly understand if someone stops by once and never returns. There are some incredibly good blogs out there, and if you don’t enjoy reading something, why waste your time? Nothing personal.

Now, here’s the embarrassing part. Ever since I could talk, I have loved to sing. I never pursued singing (outside my car or in the shower) because I never thought I was that good. Then about 10 years ago, my dh and I were having dinner with some new friends, Ed and Kris from church. They were both on the praise team, and Ed was leading worship on a volunteer basis. I don’t remember how we got on the subject, but I mentioned to them that I loved to sing, but had never sang in public. (I didn’t mention the time “back in the day” when I sang Stairway to Heaven at my friend’s wedding reception. I’ve actually tried to block that memory–it wasn’t pretty, not even a little bit.) Out of the blue, Ed says, “Come sing on the praise team!” He could have said, “You just won 10 million dollars” and I wouldn’t have been more excited, or more terrified. It was like God was saying to me, “Here’s your dream come true. Don’t screw it up.”

Long story short, I’m an okay singer. I’m not great. I am surrounded by other vocalists on a regular basis that just knock my socks off, and I simply appreciate the fact they let me sing with them. Earlier today, I was feeling convicted about my personal worship time. An old hymn came to mind that is one of my favorites – “I Surrender All”. I lit some candles, got down on my knees and worshipped God right here in my living room. I recorded it on my flip video, but I’ll get to the reason behind that in a sec. I played it back. It is long, monotonous, I sound mostly lispy and warbley, and at some points like I’m chewing on cud. I was really tempted to re-record it. But I decided against it because one of the things I need to surrender is my pride, and playing back this video was certainly humbling. Besides, no matter how it sounds on the recording, in my heart it was beautiful, and it brought me into His Presence. I pray it was an acceptable albeit unworthy offering to Jesus.

So, why record it? I hope this doesn’t sound incredibly sappy, but I was thinking how honored and humbled I would be if I could worship with you. If not in person, than in some small way right here on this blog. Beth, Sherri, Jason – feel free to throw in some kickin’ harmonies and/or drown out my voice with your own. I have posted the lyrics below the video. Feel free to sing the correct words in the last verse. Not sure what happened there — I close my eye alot when I sing.

All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

I surrender all,
I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
Oh, the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!

I pray this Good Friday through Resurrection Sunday is a very special time of reflection and reverence; that you can spend time with family and friends; and that you would feel God’s love and power in a big way.

Jason, I’m praying for your church big time. Whether you have 10 or 10,000, I know that you will give an offering that is pleasing to Him.