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The Results are In

The Winners are Helen and Wendy. (Please email me your 411 – okay, that was kind of lame.) I should send Candy some yard art just for spite, but I’m praying for her ungrateful heart. Also, I think Helen knows me better than some family members.

And now lemme break it down for you people:

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT have done Yesterday:

1. Made red beans and rice for lunch.
True – It was from a box, but it was sprinkled with love.

2. Shot a man just to watch him die.
False – I did not shoot a man to watch him die. On Wednesday.

3. Sent Donald Miller* a tweet with the word frigintastic and got a response to said tweet.
True – He posted a twitpic of a bar that I may or may not have patronized in downtown Austin. I asked if the pic was from downtown Austin, frigintastic! His response: “Absolutely. An Awesome Town.” Not so wordy in the non-book setting.

4. Threatened to kick my kids out in the rain if they messed up my clean house.
True – That’s a no brainer.

5. Got rave reviews from Simon Cowell after singing “Jenny” on American Idol for Wii.
False – I did not play the Wii on Wednesday. But I totally rock that song.

6. Alphabetized my spice rack.
False – I do not own a spice rack. We buy our spices in big redneck vats.

7. Took an extra dose of Ginkgo Biloba for good measure.
True – Having kids home from school unexpectedly requires contingency plans.

8. Booked 2 appointments with potential new clients for next week.
True – I’m fixin’ to get really busy.

8 Shows I MAY OR MAY NOT Watch

1. Best Show in the History of Television (also known as The Deadliest Catch)
True – nuff said.

2. Dancing with the Stars
False – That show is for girly girls. I’m not exactly rocking a mullet and birkenstock sandals, but I have a bit more testosterone than your average female. And say what you will about the athletic prowess of Emmitt Smith, as far as I’m concerned, he surrendered his man card when he agreed to be on that show.

3. CSI Miami
False – Sorry – David Caruso as Grown-up Angry Opie from The Andy Griffin Show doesn’t do it for me.

True – That show rocks.

5. CSI Las Vegas
True – That show also rocks. Even though I really miss Grissom and Warrick Brown. I loved me some Grissom and Warrick Brown!

6. Dirtiest Jobs
True – Mike Rowe is the second sexiest man alive, my dh being the numero uno.

7. Myth Busters
True – Blowing stuff up is awesome. Plus, if I were a tv star, I would want to be Kari Byron. She’s an artist and a knife thrower. How cool is that? She also referred to someone as a hippy, crystal gripping tree hugger on the show.

8. The Office
True That’s what she said.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do (or might actually be able to do):

1. Paint with either hand.
True – I am right/left brain confused, but sometimes it comes in handy.

2. Juggle.
False – I am a klutz of epic proportions. Juggling requires eye hand coordination.

3. Write song parodies a-la Weird Al Yankovitz.
True – I once wrote Christian lyrics to “Walk This Way” by Aerosmith. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it was my friend J.D.’s going away gift. I also wrote a parody of the song “Church on Fire” for a departing pastor who was fond of the tacky Hawaiin shirt entitled “Shirt on Fire”. I do not heart that song.

4. Recite the preamble to the Constitution.
True – I grew up on Schoolhouse Rock.

5. Play the harmonica.
False – Although I play slightly better than Alanis Morrisette.

6. Roller Skate backwards.
True – I am ALL up in that! I can skate better backward than forwards.

7. Make awesome chicken enchiladas.
True – They are awesomatastic!

8. Sing “American Pie” in its entirety (the long version) by memory.
False – Sad, but true. Dig that song, though.

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT be Looking Forward To:

1. Meeting some of my bloggity gal pals this summer.
True – Heck yeah!

2. Tomorrow.
True – New day. Fresh start.

3. Redoing my guest bathroom.
True – I’m planning on making a mancave for my dh.

4. Old age.
True – Even though I wish I had more nieces and nephews. Crazy Aunt Kathy has a nicer ring to it than my Crazy Mother.

5. Catching up on a season’s worth of American Idol on Tivo.
False – That show made me mad when they voted off Dirty Rocker Chris Daughtry. I watch from time to time, but I think this year’s talent is rather sucktacular.

6. Going to my husband’s high school reunion.
True – Like I’m gonna say False. He reads my blog, you know. Not every day, mind you. But it’s sort of like random drug testing. You just never know. Besides, what’s not to like about being around a bunch of people telling you stuff about your spouse that you might not know?

7. Going to Japan with my mom someday soon.
True – Although I’ll probably have to sell a kidney to be able to afford it.

8. The premiere of the movie “New Moon”.
True – Also, did you know that there’s a 5th book? Twilight from Edward Cullen’s perspective. Oh, heck yeah!

There you have it. Thirty-two things you never wanted to know about katdish. I will now open up the comments section to completely random and totally unrelated comments…

Waste Not, Want Not

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty convicted about how wasteful I am. I’m constantly getting rid of things that I probably shouldn’t have bought in the first place — for me, for the kids, for the house — whatever. I think the thing that gets wasted most in this house is food. I’m the only one that really likes leftovers. It’s hard to gauge how much to cook because sometimes my kids eat like birds, and sometimes they eat like starving wildebeests. But as long as I get the spoiled food out of the fridge and into the garbage on trash pick up day, I don’t give it another thought. I know it doesn’t disappear. I know that there are landfills overflowing with all of our nasty crap. Truth be told, I don’t want to think about it.

I guess I’m thinking about it now because a) reading Mare’s Blog reminds me of just how much more we have in comparison to other parts of the world, and b) reading Matt’s Blog (The Church of No People) reminded me of an episode of Dirty Jobs that is, in a word, unforgettable. (Please note that Matt’s blog post had absolutely nothing to do with being wasteful, he just mentioned Mike Rowe and my ADD mind lead me here.) I’m not a squeamish person. But there was something about the following video that literally made me shudder. Like the farmer says in the video, “You get a whole new appreciation for the term: Waste not, want not.” Enjoy the video. It is equal parts disgusting and hilarious. Also, Mike Rowe is pretty dreamy, even if he is covered in pig slop.

P. S. – Just as an indication of how truly immature I am, I tivoed this episode and watched it over and over again like some 13 year old boy watching reruns of “Jack*ss”. Furthermore, if someone came over, I would make them watch it. My introduction would go something like this: “This is totally disgusting. You have to see it!…Wait, do you want to watch it again?”