Katdish.net

Hey ya’ll!

I was going to post something ridiculous, but I have to go paint some stripes on a wall today, and I thought this was infinitely more encouraging than a book review of “Letters from a Nut” by Ted L. Nancy. I promise to get to that soon enough. For now, hop on over to “Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants” and check out this:

THE LITTLE OLD MAN FROM SYDNEY.

Peace out, homeys.

I’m going to start this post with a bit of free advice. If you are a notorious procrastinator, don’t ever say, “I’m gonna do this cartoon thing, and I’m gonna post it on such and such date.” Because, you silly person, you know that your time management skills are horrible, and then you’re all pressured and whatnot, and you’ve got a little person all worried that you’re gonna compare her to some horrible cartoon character. So then you have to throw out all the funniest ones because you promised that you would be nice (which you WILL be). Plus, you have NO IDEA what your crazy friend Helen is thinking, and you start second guessing what you originally thought was pretty brilliant. But I digress…

Okay, chatty blogger gal pals, this one’s for you:

Did you see the movie Sybil? Do you remember the final scene where Sally Field and Paul Newman’s wife were sitting by the tree and all Sybil’s personalities come out one by one from behind the tree? There was one personality in particular, I can’t remember which one it was, I just remember the line. Sybil says, “Of everyone, I think I will miss you most of all.” Or maybe that was Judy Garland to the scarecrow in “The Wizard of Oz”. I’m not sure…I’m really goofy tired right now. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, here’s the thing: If Hey Look a Chicken was Sybil or Judy Garland in Oz, and I was speaking for HLAC (and why wouldn’t I?), I would say that line to Helen. I love all my bloggity gal pals, but Helen is special, and I mean that in the best possible way. She just “gets” me, and that’s no small accomplishment. Plus, comparatively speaking, her and I go way back. Okay, sorry. I just wanted to put that out there.

Helen from Random Musings as Jessica Rabbit

For real this time:

Helen from Random Musings as

Dory from “Finding Nemo”

Yes, she’s incredibly random, so much so that she actually understands my humor even at its very weirdest. And she often steals the show, because she’s just that funny. But the most endearing thing about Dory (Helen), is that she genuinely cares for people, she is a loyal friend, she sees the good in people (do you remember the scene with the sharks?), and she is forgiving and humble. “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!”

Okay, here’s an easy one. Who’s this?:

Yes. That’s right. It’s every one’s favorite pretend counselor, Dear Gabby. She also goes by the name Sherri, and several other personalities yet to surface. She’s actually pretty amusing, but if you were wondering whether to click on the crisis hot line website or Dear Gabby, I would choose Option A.

And speaking of Sherri,
Sherri at Matter of Fact as….

Okay, seriously. You could fill a Macy’s parade with all the stuff I came up with. I’ll get to the real one is a sec, but I’m gonna put just a couple out there:

Marie from The Aristocrats and (of course) Smurfette:

Incidentally, there are some VERY WEIRD PEOPLE out there with some pretty disturbing smurf fetishes. So, there’s my little public service announcement – from me to you.

AHEM! Sherri at Matter of Fact as Lucy (as in “I Love Lucy”, not Peanuts. But don’t think that one didn’t cross my mind, too!)

Mare (aka Mary Ann) from It Might Be Hope as Eliza Thornberry

Okay, people! Am I right, or am I right? Young girl travels to faraway places and champions a cause. Eliza seeks to protect and save the lives of animals, Mare works to protect and save the lives of the people of Nigeria. (I’m not quite sure where the snarky sister, weird little brother and the fully clothed, talking monkey fit in, but still.)

Annie from Buzz by Annie’s as Sandy the Squirrel from “Spongebob Squarepants”:

Really…right? But unless you have kids who read Junie B. Jones, you probably won’t get the comparison (except maybe the glasses and the red hair). But I think I’ve come up with a pretty good comparison who is more widely recognized: 2) Flo from the Progressive Insurance Commercials:

Steph/Flo: Textbook example of the Sanguine/Expressive Personality Profile. I hope you like this comparison, Steph. I think it’s pretty awesome!

I’m not going to lie. Of all the comparisons I’ve done so far, this next one is my absolute favorite. Having said that, it would be impossible to capture the comparison with just a picture. No, no…a video is an absolute must! May I present my very favorite geeky church planter chick and my very favorite cartoon character of all time:

Beth of That’s Not Me Anymore as Bessie Higginbottom from “The Mighty B”

I would like to say for the record, that the original video I posted was approximately 89% more awesome that the one here, but Viacom pulled it. But still. Bessie Rocks! And so does Beth! In case you’ve never seen an episode of the Mighty B, go to Nick.com, they have full episodes. Beth/Bessie has a heart of gold, and is not afraid to “Get her Geek on!” Go B’s, Go B’s!

According to my strict, self-imposed schedule, I’m supposed to be posting the SCL all star commenters. But dude…I’m tired. I’ll post them next time, I promise!

I’m gonna get right to this, because I have a bunch of folks to immortalize here.

First up, bloggers that were my friends before they were my blogger friends. I am not a Trekkie or a Star Wars fan. Sorry – I don’t get it. But my blog roll is awash in them! I literally had to spend minutes of in depth, painstaking research into various characters, but I think my friends are worth it!

Kris at Elephants are People Too as Dr. Beverly Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation

“She is very intelligent, passionate, and caring; she is introverted, reserved, and quiet; she has a very strong will and a sense of justice and will stand up for the underdog, even if that sometimes means going against her training as a Starfleet officer obedient church goer. She is often found playing devil’s advocate in the senior staff meetings her husband’s bible study class, though she always does so with class and sensitivity, taking the feelings and views of others into consideration.” Yeah. That works for me.

Laz from Last Row as Anakin Skywalker (before he turns to the dark side and becomes the voice of James Earl Jones)

Jude from And Jude Wonders as Kim Possible

Again, sorry — no picture. I met Jude (or Judi) several years ago and lost touch with her. I am SO very happy to say that she is a core group member of our church plant, and I gotta think that it was God’s plan all along. Another very smart person. We share the bond of having made many unwise decisions in our lives “back in the day”, but God was merciful on us both. So, why Kim Possible? Well, let’s see…hard working executive, single mom of two great kids. Oh yeah, there’s this, too: she is a Christian working for a non-profit that runs an AIDS clinic surrounded by some fairly outspoken opponents of Christianity. And while things are not always sunshine and roses, she has witnessed to her co-workers without words for years. She never shoved a bible down any one’s throat, but gained respect by the way she conducted herself. So much so, that she was actually able to share her testimony to a room full of people who actually wanted to hear it. None of them are busting our doors down on Sunday morning, but I definitely think some seeds were planted. Yeah…Kim Possible.

Julie at A Preacher’s Wife as Jessie from Toy Story 2

First I want to apologize for not posting this sooner. When I first thought of this concept, I thought it was going to be an easy-breezy little series of silliness that would fly off my fingers and into the blogosphere. But I quickly realized that a) I am not easily offended, and I sometimes like to project that particular character trait onto other people, b) the LAST thing I want to do is to personally offend anyone just to get a laugh, and c) the personalities of the people I’m featuring are way more complex than most cartoon characters. So, as I continue my silly little series, please keep in mind that whatever I happen to come up with is by no means an in-depth personality or character profile. Alrighty then? Here we go:

First up, is Pam from Life as I Know It as Junior Asparagus (what?)

Okay, hear me out on this one. Pam is very sweet; Pam is very funny; Pam is not as boisterous and loud as some other bloggers I know (unless you include her blog jukebox, but I digress…). Junior is very sweet; a little on the quiet side, but in “Dave and the Giant Pickle” this little, quiet guy turns out to be a very big hero. Pam is a licensed vocational nurse. She often requests prayer for kids and families that she knows, and I just know that those people witness the Love of Christ through her compassion. That makes her a pretty big hero in my book.

So it seems that Candy is a bit of a health nut — kind of a granola girl. (Just like me, only completely different.) The only reason I know that she is older than I am is that she tells me that I remind her of her daughter and, she said she didn’t know who Heart was but was down with Sonny and Cher. I gotta tell you, that always throws me when she says stuff like that because she just seems really young at heart (must be the green tea). She’s not quite as nutty as Phoebe, but she has her moments!

I mean, DUH! If you read my post Getcherfreakon, then you already know that I’m a fan of Audrey Hepburn. What you may not know is that I am also a fan of Jamie. Now here’s the weird part — I admire Jamie because she displays many of the qualities that I admire so much in Audrey: grace, compassion, kindness, and just a little bit of crazy quirkiness. She really should quit smoking, though…(Oh, I’m only KIDDING!) If you check my sidebar, you will notice that there are a few links to some very worthy charities. One of them is “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep”. This organization provides photographers free of charge to the families of stillborn or near death infants in the hospital so that they may have a beautiful portrait of their child before they are laid to rest. Jamie and her husband Ken both volunteer their talents to this cause. Talk about classy! Who’s awesome? Jamie’s awesome!

Next up, Tim from the Wide World of Timbo as Dwight K. Schrute from “The Office”:

Why would I compare a recent college graduate, part-time barrista and youth sponsor to a slightly off balanced, crotchety old guy? I suppose to truly understand why I did this, you would have to read his blog. Jake is a Christ follower, a very thoughtful and talented writer and basically a really nice guy. However, he sometimes has a low tolerance for whiners and often poses questions (to himself and to others) that are blunt and unnerving. While some might find this offensive, I find it incredibly refreshing. I think Christians worry too much about offending people. In my opinion, if you’ve never offended anyone in the pursuit of spreading the Gospel, you’re just not trying very hard. Here’s a brief snippet from a recent post:

“I have to admit that much of what I say and do, I do because it requires people to think, and sometimes I probably cross the line, and I sort of have a reputation for doing this kind of thing, but I’m glad to do it, if it can make someone think.

I remember driving somewhere with a bunch of interns in the car once discussing how sheltered they were when it came to understanding certain cultural things, and I had to tell them,

“I will un-shelter you all!”

I wish God would do this to us, because we need to be exposed not to evil, but to the things that have been branded as such to be liberated and to freely enjoy things that we should be able to, like rock and roll, hardcore music and people who we might just think are “too bad” for us all.”

(LOVE that!)

On my cartoon blogger post featuring pastors, I neglected to mention Max from Random Thoughts bout Random Things Sometimes. I don’t know Max that well. I only know that he is recently married and is an intern worship pastor. I can only base this characterization on what he has written — both on his blog and comments on other blogs. Based on the following comment posted on Matt at the Church of No People, there is really only one comparison that comes to mind: “KATDISH IS RIGHT, something, something, something, yada, yada, yada.” No doubt, Max is destined to be among the rising stars of the modern Christian movement. Therefore, my comparison is Max and C. S. Lewis:

Shawn from Brainclutter. This one kind of stumped me, but I think I’ve got a reasonable comparison. Shawn as Lisa Simpson:

(Sorry about the teeny-tiny profile picture, that’s the best I could do!) So why Lisa Simpson? Shawn is firm in her convictions, speaks out against wrong, and is often the voice of reason in a sea of ridiculousness. I like to visit Shawn’s blog and gripe sometimes. She’s a good listener.

Carol at She Lives. While I would love to take credit for finding Carol’s blog, I will grudgingly admit that it was Steph (at the Red Clay Diaries) that found her. She is just ridiculously funny. Check out her Plunger 101 and 102 Posts — I don’t care who ya are, that’s funny right there! But alas, she plays the bass, and because I am a vocalist who hangs out with a bunch of talented musicians (my only instrumental talent is playing the tambourine — badly), I am reduced to goofy admiration. Therefore, my comparison for Carol is Tina Weymouth — bass player for the Talking Heads (Okay, she’s a real person — do you know any well known female cartoon bass players? No? I didn’t think so.)

BeckeyZ from Zimmages. I’m not quite sure how Beckey found my blog (probably how most people did; thank you Jon Acuff!) Anyway…I don’t want to reduce Beckey to just someone who takes pictures, because she’s funny and cool and all that, but DANG! she takes some good pictures! So my second real person/real person comparison is Beckey as Annie Leibowitz:

Well this has been really fun, but I think I’m ready to move on to other topics. This will be the final installment of Cartoon Bloggers…Th-th-th-that’s all folks!

OH, CHILLAX Helen! I’m just kidding. Next post: SCL Comment All-Stars, bloggers that I actually know live and in person, and a few of my favorite chatty blogger gal pals. Stay tuned!

(And just remember Sherri — Animation is the highest form of flattery…oh, wait! It’s imitation…DANG!)

While I am a bit disappointed that Tim Keller has STILL not paid a visit to my humble little blog, I’m sure he’s probably busy and it’s on his to-do list. I am willing to be patient (for now). I thought yesterday’s post went pretty well and no one featured was offended (that I am aware of). Incidentally, I am also waiting for Shepard Smith to comment on my blog, but I digress…

I knew I was going to catch grief from Angela over at Vanities of Vanities for assigning The Little Mermaid to someone else! Yes, Angela, I KNOW that you are now and will forever be the REAL Little Mermaid, and this probably won’t make up for that slight, but I kind of saw it a little differently. As you know, Ariel was a mermaid that longed to be human, whereas her daughter Melody was (much like you) was a girl that longed to be a mermaid. And while I realize that this most likely does not make up for the slight, I simply thought it would make more sense:

First up, Joanna from Joanna Muses. I honestly don’t know much about Joanna except that a) she is a student, b) based upon a couple of her posts that I’ve read she seems pretty wise for someone so young, c) she is from Australia, d) I think Australia is WICKED AWESOME! Obvious comparison Numero Uno: Joanna and Bill the Cat. I think Joanna is cuter than Bill, but you get the general idea.

I know a little more about Christy from Warning: Sleep Talking Zone than I do Joanna, but not much. She’s closer to my age, is a mom like me (but not a slacker mom like me because she’s a homeschooler — not that if you don’t home school you’re a slacker mom, but I happen to fit into that little paradigm quite nicely thankyouverymuch!) Oh, geez! Where was I? Okay, obvious comparison Numero Twono (I know, you’re impressed at my Spanish – You don’t need lessons Angela, I’ll teach you everything I know!)

AHEM, Numero Twono:
Christy and Wonderwoman:

By the way, I have it on good authority that the first picture is an actual un-retouched photo of Christy taken this past Halloween. Color me impressed!

I may or may not post another cartoon blogger installment tomorrow. I’ve got several pictures saved and ready to go, and I have every intention of finishing what I started out to do. But I feel a prosperity gospel rant coming on, and when that happens there’s only two things I can do:

1) Rant incessantly about it on this blog, or

2) Go to Walmart with a black sharpie and do little cosmetic dentistry to the 19 rows of Joel Osteen books.

And since they’ve got me on surveillance video there and they were kind enough to let me off with a warning the last couple of time that happened, I just don’t think the second option is such a good idea.

I was just thinking the other day, what if my blogger pals were cartoon/fictional characters? Who might they be? Because I realize that this series of posts will be scrutinized by one blogger in particular (who shall remain nameless, but you’ll figure out soon enough if you read the comments because she’s a bit on the chatty side, bless her heart). I have given the following representations probably WAY more thought than I should have. But like my dad always told me, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” (Actually, I believe his exact words were, “IF YOU’RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING HALF-*SS, DON’T DO IT AT ALL!” But tomAto, tomotto, whatever…

Without further adieu, I give you my humble attempt at blogger characterization with artistic license:

I’ll start with the pastors who read this blog, which is both flattering and perplexing simultaneously. I get that Jeff reads, but mostly because he needs to know how to pray for me on any given day…being the shepherd of my particular flock and whatnot. But I digress…

For reasons I will not expound upon here because I think it’s been covered in numerous comments between blogs, the first image that came to me for Matt at the Church of No People was this one:
(you’re welcome). But Christmas underwear blog posts and comments aside, I don’t think Tommy Pickles from Rugrats is really representative of Matt. So how does one represent a pastor who is artsy, funny, irreverent, and has the spiritual gift of sarcasm? This proved to be quite difficult. The best I can offer is some weird morphing scenario of the following three characters: Bart Simpson, Napoleon Dynamite and Legolas from Lord of the Rings. (Don’t ask — it just kind of gelled in my head that way.)

Next up is super duper mega-church pastor Pete Wilson from Without Wax.

If I’m being honest (and I am, btw) the first image that popped into my head was this one: Freddy from Scooby Doo. “And I would have gotten away with it too! If it hadn’t have been for you meddling kids and that DOG of yours!”
My sincere apologies, kind readers. My computer was suddenly and viciously ripped from my lap by Old Man Jenkins! But fear not, he is in handcuffs as we speak and is being lead away by the cartoon version of Don Knotts.
Now…where was I? Oh, yeah! And seriously — check out the stance — except for the position of the right arm, it’s nearly identical! (Okay, I just got incredibly lucky on that particular google search.) Even though I would consider this high praise (as I was a big Freddy fan back in the day), I don’t want to be disrespectful to Pete by comparing him to an ascot wearing, mystery solving cartoon character who likely hung out with a bunch of stoners with the munchies all the time. (Not judging here, I’m just saying.) So my pick for Pete is Wesley/the Dread Pirate Roberts from “The Princess Bride”.

Because I think he has a great sense of humor (which is incredibly fortunate for me), and because he is a brave hero in some very unconventional, outside the box kind of ways.

For some unknown reason, author and Presbyterian mega-church pastor Dr. Timothy Keller has yet to find his way to my humble little blog. But since I’m sure it’s only a matter of time, I will share with you what I believe to be somewhat of a dead ringer comparison: Captain Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation

And now for my very favorite pastor, Jeff Hogan of Convergence Christian Church

I’m going to have to throw this one out there for a few reasons, but the chief one being that Jeff does a pretty stirring rendition of “The Cheeseburger Song”. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, Mr. Lunt from Veggie Tales

While this comparison is accurate for me in many ways (The moustaches are uncanny aren’t they?), I cannot leave it at that. Even though I am hopelessly sarcastic most of the time and joke around with him on a regular basis, I also consider Jeff to be just below God, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, the apostles, and my husband Ron on the list of my all-time spiritual heroes. Furthermore, my involvement in ministries that he has led is probably why I set the bar so very high for other pastors. For those reasons, my comparison for Jeff is William Wallace: because he is driven by the love of his life (Jesus Christ), fights for what is right — sometimes against seemingly insurmountable odds, will not be bought or influenced by fame or titles, and truly is a Warrior Poet. If you know my affinity for the movie Braveheart, you will understand how big of a deal that is. Incidentally, I would crawl across broken glass for Jeff and his family.

And since featuring Jeff without Tamara would be like talking about Salt without Peppa (the rap group, not the seasonings), here is my comparison for my lovely and talented friend Tamara:

Why Ariel from The Little Mermaid? A few reasons: First, she is somewhat clumsy when out of water and, like Ariel she is a bit of a non-conformist rebel willing to buck the status quo if necessary. But the main reason I chose this comparison is that when Tamara sings, her voice is so hauntingly beautiful that it literally moves me to tears at times. She is also a bit on the shy side, very humble, and will probably cringe as she reads this. But it’s true. Her voice might not technically be considered among the all-time greats, but passion and soul cannot be measured in any quantitative way. Unfortunately, she does kind of suck at American Idol for Wii – mostly because she keeps trying to sing harmony instead of lead. So, currently I am the reigning American Idol of my family room and am appearing nightly upon request.

I know I said I would be posting everyone from my blog roll plus some others, but once again I have bitten off more than I can chew. I could not possibly fit everyone into one blog post without giving up the little luxuries I’ve come to enjoy like sleep and personal hygiene. I will be featuring some more of my favorite bloggers tomorrow and on subsequent posts after that. I will say for the record that I will not be writing about one particular group of bloggers until a certain geeky church planter chick gets back from her Internet sabbatical. I just wouldn’t feel right about that. I hope I haven’t kept anyone awake at night worrying about what kind of horrible manifestation I would come up with for them. I really am trying to be nice here! (Well, the Joel Osteen one wasn’t very nice, but what can I say? He probably had that one coming.) Stay tuned…

Did I just hear a collective “Dang!”?

P.S. – I’ve been playing around with my blog layout a little. No big changes, just trying to add another column. So, hopefully it will look a little better soon. (Not “fancy”, just better)

My buddy Steph at The Red Clay Diaries tagged me to write seven weird things about myself. Seriously, it would be more of a challenge to write seven things that were normal about me, but whatever. So, I thought I’d throw in some things that would you might find surprising about me, because I’m fairly sure you’re down with the fact that I’m pretty weird. Well, here goes:

1) Since some of my blogger friends kept commenting on my blog, thereby distracting me from writing this post (I’m ignoring you Steph, by the way), by the time I was ready to write this, all the clever titles had been taken. So I was originally going to call this blog post “HOT MONKEY SEX“. But then I thought about what kind of traffic a title like that might bring in, and how bitterly disappointed they would be, and thought better of it.

2) This might come as a surprise to some people, but I really like Audrey Hepburn. I am nothing like her, but she was such a class act. Plus, she was a real nutcase in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, and that endeared her to me. Check out these quotes from her: “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” AND “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.” How classy it that? Love that woman. I have a large, framed picture of her in my studio.

3) If you read Pete Wilson’s blog (and the hundreds of comments), you may already know this, but toads and frogs freak me out! When I was a kid, I hated wearing shoes. I loved the feel of the grass on my feet. This resulted in two unfortunate end results. The first being what my sister referred to as “grocery store feet” and the worst was this: I would on occasion step on and squish frogs and toads with my bare feet. I’ll give you a minute to recover from that horrible imagery. Allow me to share with you a comment I made today on Pete’s blog:

Dear Mr. Without Wax,

We love your blog! We read it all the time here at work. But do you think it would be possible to change the name?

Sincerely,

Yours friends at the Yankee Candle Company

Okay, seriously! Happy Birthday! I could lie and say that I’ve been here from the start, but I’ve only been reading since December (and lying is wrong). But I’m glad we blog rolled each other even steven (snort!)

Oh, and get THIS! FROG UPDATE:

I was on the back patio (aka large slab of concrete) with my dog, Buddy Love and when I opened the back door, I heard and felt a big, wet SPLAT! on my forearm. I looked down to discover that there was a slimy, bright green TREE FROG on my arm! So, I did what anyone would have done in that situation, I screamed AAARRRRGGGHHHH! at the top of my lungs, shook it off my arm and ran in the house like a 4 year old girl. And do you want to know the worst part? When I told my husband what I was screaming about, HE ROLLED HIS EYES AT ME! and frankly he was incredibly dispassionate (I don’t even know if that’s a word, but I’m on a roll) about my plight. Sure, he was on a conference call with his boss and some investors, BUT STILL! IT WAS A SLIMY, NASTY FROG AND IT WAS ON MY ARM! Okay. Glad I got that off my chest. I feel much better…Happy Birthday, again!

P.S. – Please feel free to delete any or all of my annoying comments. I can assure you, you wouldn’t be the first megachurch pastor blogger to do so.

4) Wow. I’m only on #4? I better shorten these up a bit. Okay: I enjoy making annoying comments on well known pastor’s blogs. To Pete’s credit, he has been super, abundantly gracious and cool about it. Which, coupled with the fact that most of them never even respond to my comments, really speaks volumes about the guy. (I should probably look deep into my soul and figure out why I do this, but I don’t feel like it.)

5) I am right handed, but not naturally. When I first picked up a pencil, I did so with my left hand. But my older sisters kept moving it to my right hand. The results of this are numerous, but the biggest ones are that I have a permanent callous on my ring finger and a slightly freakish looking fingernail on the same hand. On the up side, I can paint with both hands, throw and catch a ball, bat, play tennis with either arm.

6) This probably stems from the whole left/right hand confusion thing, but to this day, I can’t tell my left from my right without pretending to eat. Actually, when I’m giving directions to someone, I unconsciously tug on my right ear, because my right ear is double-pierced.

7) I am sincerely, absolutely astonished at how fortunate I am. I’m not saying that to sound humble — I really am completely perplexed by it. Consequently, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about the following verse: “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.” (Luke 12:48b)

So there’s my list. Any questions?

Oh, yeah…I was going to tag some other people, but I forget who everybody else tagged and I’m too lazy to go back and check. So, if you are reading this blog, feel free to tell me all about your freaky self (with the notable exception of the HOT MONKEY SEX people)and post it here in the comments section, on your blog, or myspace, or twitter, or facebook, or whatever…Peace out.

*It’s Friday. I have approximately one (1) ornament on my Christmas tree, and I really don’t have anything to ramble on incessantly about.

But I do have a couple of things to share with you. First off, Stacy from Louisville is guest blogging on SCL today. Funny stuff. Check it out. Her Women’s Ministry Christmas Tea post reminded me (don’t ask me why, that’s just how my brain works) of one of my all time favorite “Designing Women” episodes:

Berniece just cracks me up! My mother-in-law’s name is also Berniece. She’s kind of like that character, only completely different. (Actually, I’m looking forward to my twilight years so I can wear a bedazzled Christmas tree skirt and embarrass my children. — Cuz I NEVER do that now!)

Also, you may have noticed that a have a new blog on my sidebar, “Blogs I’m Diggin’ the Most”. Why, pray tell, did I add a new entry? Because a certain Wax-free mega pastor sent me a personal e-mail asking if I would like to “exchange links” on each other’s blogs. I was understandably impressed. That is, until I clicked on his blog roll and discovered that I would be the 947th person listed on his blog roll. But whatever, like they say on the red carpet at the Oscars, “It’s just an honor to be nominated.” (snort!)

And speaking of mega pastors, If anyone could cajole a certain Tim Keller to comment on my blog, I would be all a-quiver! He’s pretty much a rock star in my book. And I’m sure he would appreciate the fact that I’ve probably violated about 300 copyright infringement laws by quoting from his book so much.

That’s all for now. I gotta go decorate my lonely little Christmas tree. And perhaps I’ll leave some deep, philosophical words of wisdom on your blogs. (Your welcome.)

While surfing the blogosphere, I have been impressed with how “fancy” some blogs are out there. My friend Pam’s blog is uber fancy! She’s even got a jukebox playing when you click over to her site. The music is great, it just scares my dog. (He is usually sitting on my lap when I’m on the computer.) I am fairly computer illiterate. I’ve been trying for weeks to expand my margins to no avail. (Hucklebuck, if you’re reading this, I could use some advice!) Another interesting phenomenon on many blogs (especially blogs written by women), is “The Contest”. I guess everyone loves a contest! Me, not so much. I’m just not very competitive. I know, I know…incredibly un-American, but what can I say, that’s how I roll…

But for my loyal readers, I thought I would make this one exception. Especially since for some weird reason (aka – an SCL shout out), my site counter has been hitting some pretty impressive numbers. I also think people just like reading the comments. Although, I gotta tell you, unless you read all the blogs in my sidebar, you’re likely to miss large segments of the conversation.

Back to the contest. Here’s what I’m looking for. Find blogs in the following categories:

-funniest (don’t say this one. Nobody likes a suck-up.)

-most thought provoking or challenging

-weirdest content (G or PG rated please)

-blog with the nicest layout

I’m sure you’re all wondering what wonderful prizes await the winners in each category! Perhaps your own personalized slanket? A box of Hot Pockets! autographed by Jim Gaffigan? A sarcasm thesaurus? For those of you expecting a wonderful reward for HLAC’s first contest, let me just say:

“I don’t think so. Homey don’t play that!”

It’s not that I don’t want to give out prizes. It’s just that I can’t deal with the pressure of having to actually mail anything out. I still have every one’s CDs by the way. I also have 3 books for Mare sitting on my nightstand. I am a horrible procrastinator. I’ll attempt to get the CDs and the books in the mail before Christmas, but I’m not making any promises!

But seriously, I’m interested in what ya’ll come up with. I’ll start:

Pigs and Pigs is, as the name would imply, a blog completely dedicated to pigs. Not even real pigs — stuffed pigs, piggy banks, pig signs. If you have a freakish attraction to this kind of thing, this blog is Pigtastic!

Okay? You get it? GO!

P. S. – You’re not allowed to use your own blog. (I don’t think I need to mention any names here.)