The moron test
After the recent and not so recent acquisitions of several electronic devices beginning with the letter “i”, the discovery of some yet to be redeemed iTunes gift cards around the house, and the realization that a 9 hour car ride over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house can get a tad boring, the members of my family decided it would be a good idea to search for and download a few apps for the aforementioned electronic devices.
The first and most obvious choice for both of the kids was Angry Birds, which I was delighted to download for them because I am a wonderful mother and because I was tired of being constantly asked, “Can I play Angry Birds on your phone?” I’m a tad possessive of my iPhone. (Ahem.)
As captivating and addicting as those little pig killing kamikaze birds can be, one needs a little diversity in one’s distractions. After a few minutes of searching the app store, my son asked, “Can I download The Moron Test?” I looked up said app on my iPhone and decided that it was well worth the 99 cent investment. For those of you unfamiliar with The Moron Test, here’s a brief walk thru of the first level:
Pretty simple and straightforward huh? Yes and no. My guess is that was probably at least the 3rd or 4th time the person on that video played the game, and I’m being generous. How do I know this? Because it took me at least that many times to get through that level, and clearly I am not a moron. (Although I do play one on the internets on occasion.)
Most of the tasks on the test are ridiculously simple. With few exceptions, all a person needs to do to pass the test with flying colors is to
Pay attention,
follow directions carefully,
wait for further instructions,
slow down when necessary,
and be patient.
Which is why I suspect 90 percent of the people who have played that game failed the test miserably the first time through. Why? Because the faster we can get through something the faster we can get to the next NEW thing, and heaven forbid we miss out on anything.
We’re so busy trying to pay attention to everything that we rarely give full attention to anything.
What we need to do as a society is exactly what is required to master The Moron Test:
Pay attention,
follow directions carefully,
wait for further instructions,
slow down when necessary,
and be patient.
