Katdish.net

You may be wondering where I find folks to guest blog for me. Okay, maybe you’re not, but I’m going to tell you anyway. Mostly from reading other blogs, and occasionally from the twitter. (Sorry, Facebook. It’s not you, it’s me.) I’ve actually got a fairly sizable list of folks I’m planning to ask. Sadly, that list is in my head, and I keep losing it. Anyway, I’ve been so pleased with all the guest posts so far, and my analytics tell me you have been, too. Damien was one of my twitter finds. I never know how people find me and follow me on twitter, but as long as it’s a real person, I’ll typically follow them back. I’m glad I did so with Damien, because he sent me a really great post.

Demian Farnworth is Managing Editor for an international humanitarian aid organization and blogger for Fallen & Flawed.

Top 10 Worst Creativity Tips of All Time

What do you get when you cross a cranky writer with an opium-induced dream? Nothing to gawk at, normally.

But English poet Samuel Coleridge defied the odds and cranked out an unforgettably creepy poem called “Kubla Khan”.

The only problem is nobody can really tell us what the poem is about. Coleridge couldn’t even do it. And unfortunately generations of poets have followed in Coleridge’s footsteps ushering in an attitude that says true creativity occurs when you alter your mind.

But that’s a terrible idea. And there are nine more really bad ideas on how to jolt your creativity. Let’s take a look at them.

1. Wait for the Muse.
Want to make my skin crawl? Want to watch me clench my fists? Then tell me you can’t write until the Muse moves you. In fact, if you’re a professional, I might hit you. I’ll repent afterwards, but I’ll definitely swing. Professionals write whether they feel like it or not.

2. Get drunk.
Or stoned. Or huff glue. You’ll write some of the most ridiculous stories, paint the most dysfunctional pictures while intoxicated. Funny thing is, they’re masterpieces while you’re high. But sober people will avoid you. However, get them drunk, and you’re a genius. See no. 10.

3. Eat meat.
Long ago some Chinese mystic-artist always ate meat before he fell asleep so he could have great dreams. [Give me a break on the ambiguity. I read it somewhere. Just don’t know where.] I don’t recommend this tactic either…because what happens if your dreams dry up? They will, artist boy.

4. Toy with Twitter.
Despite what social media pundits want you to believe–Twitter is not a inspiration factory. It’s a chaotic cocktail party that will rob you of time. Doesn’t mean you can’t hang out there. I do it myself. Just don’t depend on it for creative ideas. You’ll get sucked away and totally forget what you were doing.

5. Smoke cigarettes.
No one’s flat-out preached that smoking cigarettes inspires. But stroll by any bistro and all the artists and poets and writers will be puffing away. Cigarettes kill, people. Then again, if you don’t care, you are guilty of number 7.

6. Fall in love.
If you depend on the unpredictable, violent emotions of new love **cough, cough, LUST, cough** then you might rock out a killer freshman album. Girls will stalk you. Men will envy you. Mothers will hate you. That is until your sophomore album rolls out. Then they’ll see you for the one-hit wonder you are.

7. Becoming a sadist.
Blame it on the Romantic poets: They were ones who thought a true artist suffered. So what about the thousands of years of creative output before then? And frankly, what the Romantic poets and Co. have created are marginal footnotes to enduring masterpieces.

8. Don’t create.
The Salinger principle of creativity states “you can’t create it without killing it.” You’re guilty of this if you fear that perfect artistic idea will get ruined if you commit it to paper or canvas. Get over yourself and create.

9. Specialize.
I’m guilty of this one. The idea that you will create great work if you do nothing but one thing. This is problematic because some of the best ideas come to us from fields that are far different than ours. Become the explorer. Not the homebody.

10. Thinking you are a genius.
Or a “serious” writer. [Now, where did that come from? See no. 7.] Personally guilty in this category. Picasso said that it took him a life time to learn how to draw like a child. There’s liberty in simplicity like that. And great art.

Listen: This list was generated after twenty years of failing hard in my own attempts at creative writing and a simultaneous ten years of working as a professional writer and editor. I’ve seen these tips and attitudes come from my own mouth and the mouths of other writers. Do any of them ring a bell? Would you add any? And if you’re guilty, don’t worry. So am I.

***

To read more from Damien, visit him at his blog Fallen & Flawed, follow him on the twitter @DFarnworth, or visit his Facebook page:Demian Farnworth.

Everybody and their brother thinks that they have ADD these days. You can’t swing a stick without hitting 10 people who think that they would benefit from a prescription for Adderall, or at the very least, a significant helping of Ginko Biloba. But trust me, unless you have a green, “do not duplicate under penalty of law” prescription from your doctor, drink your Red Bull cafe latte and relax — you’ve probably just got too much going on.

I, on the other hand, am the Tanya Tucker of Attention Deficit Disorder: I was ADD when ADD wasn’t cool. I fancy myself a bit of an expert on the subject. Or at least, how it affects my relationships with the people in my life. I don’t introduce myself as, “Hi, my name is Kathy and I have ADD”. But if I enter into any type of meaningful relationship with another human being, I need to put that on the table. Otherwise, they end up getting pissed off or offended, or both. Please don’t think I’m trying to make excuses for bad behavior. If I realize that I have been rude (intentionally or not), I deeply regret it and am the first to offer an apology and try to make amends. The problem is “realizing it” part.

I also recognize that there are people who think that ADD and ADHD are just made up conditions to excuse people with poor impulse control, bad manners and lack of discipline. I would invite these people to spend a day inside my head and then get back to me with their in-depth analysis. Good luck with all of THAT!

For those of you who have friends, family and spouses who suffer from this condition and choose to love us anyway, first let me say thank you. It means the world to us. You are the rocks of stability that anchor our crazy, mixed up lives, and I think God has a special place in heaven set aside for heroes such as you.

Now, on to the list:

1. We don’t mean to keep interrupting you. But if we don’t tell you what we want to say, it’s gonna fly out of our heads and be lost forever. And, by the way, it’s really important!
2. That comment we just made makes perfect sense. You just weren’t in on the conversation we started in our heads a couple of minutes ago.
3. When we tell you that something is going to take about an hour to complete, go ahead and add on the rest of the day. We suck at time management.
4. Please don’t ever send us to Wal-mart for just one thing. There’s just way too many things to see before we get to the liquid detergent aisle.
5. We’re really not sure how a loaf of bread, a half gallon of milk and a few other things added up to 87 dollars, but we’re pretty sure we needed that stuff. Okay, we already have 6 bottles of ketchup, but you never know when you’re going to need lots of ketchup.
6. We think it’s really cool that you’re good at complex mathematical equations, but please don’t try to explain it to us. It’s very overwhelming.
7. If you need us to run more than one or two errands within an allotted time period, please make a detailed, step by step list of instructions, then staple it to our foreheads. And be sure to call us and encourage us while were attempting to accomplish aforementioned errands.
8. If at all possible, do not allow us to handle the family finances. We will either drain the bank account by paying every bill as soon as it comes in, or will forget to pay any of them until we get the “red” ones.
9. We are actually very forgiving of what we consider to be your OCD tendencies, and hope that you will return the favor when dealing with our shortcomings. (We’re actually pretty amazed at what you are able to accomplish without any gnashing of teeth, and more than a little jealous.)
10. We crack ourselves up. Seriously, we think we’re hilarious. Please play along.

I’m sure you could add many more items to the list, but then it wouldn’t be a “Top Ten”. “Top 47” is not nearly as catchy! Since I like to add something about Jesus to my posts whenever I can, I’ll share with you my favorite quote from Him. It plays inside my head whenever I mess up (which is pretty regularly):

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

(2 Corinthians 12:9)

I originally posted this list way back on May 18, 2008 when I had a reader base in the low to mid single digit range. Still, it continues to be in the top 5 topics that shows up in Google Analytics under keyword searches. And since, try as I may, I don’t seem to be offending near enough people on this blog, I figured a good tithing post would most certainly do that. Talking about God and money tends to rub people the wrong way sometimes. I will say that different folks have different views about tithing. Feel free to express your opinions here openly. (Like you don’t do that already.) But for me, I honestly believe what it says in Luke 12:48:

But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

And while this particular verse does not pertain to tithing in particular, there are many places in the bible that do. I personally think tithing is biblical, and that to trust God over finances is a true leap of faith. Now, on to the list:

Top Ten Reasons not to Tithe:

1. I’m trying to pay off my credit cards.
2. I’m not completely comfortable with how the church chooses to budget its funds.
3. I’m sick of hearing sermons about tithing. It’s like we’re being pressured into giving, and that makes me uncomfortable.
4. I tithe my time. I work in the nursery/kids church/donut committee every week.
5. I give to other charities.
6. I’m confused about whether 10% means “net” or “gross”.
7. I’m unclear about how the money is spent and where the church tithes their money.
8. I’m working towards the 10%; I’ll get there eventually.
9. The church needs to spend money on (insert need here) instead of wasting it on (insert unnecessary ministry here)!
10. I just don’t see how giving money to church equates to giving money to God. God doesn’t need my money.

    Why You Should Tithe:
    
    – It’s all His anyway. It’s not about you.

Carol at She Lives awarded me a memeish award. I don’t actually know what a “memeish award” is. Candy (aka Candace Jean at Steele the Day) gave me an award last week (or was it the week before?) for being an awesome blogger. It probably should have been the “awesome slacker” award. That’s a title I carry proudly. I honestly appreciate the accolades, and I’m going to do this one for Carol because she plays bass, and that’s just cool beans. Not that Candy isn’t cool — she’s wicked awesome! But I forgot what I’m supposed to do for the other award, and I think I lost the little picture thingy. People should not give me awards unless they are going to cut and paste them to my blog themselves and forward all the necessary necessities to the aforementioned appropriate parties. Not that I’m complaining mind you. Okay, I kinda am, but I do appreciate it! Okay, so I’m actually not going to forward this cuz I’m just all kinds of lazy.

However, for the honor of displaying this fantabulous jpeg of a metal traffic sign, you must:

A) first list 10 honest things about yourself – and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep!

B) pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

So allow me to lay down some deep truths about yours truly:

1) When I was a very young girl, I had a major crush on Peter Frampton. I had this ginormous poster of him in my room. It didn’t have “Rolling Stone” on it, but that was the picture in the center. I would get up real close to Pete and stare longingly into his glossy paper eyes. I listened to “Frampton Comes Alive” over and over, bought Peter Frampton “I’m in You” and somehow convinced myself that it was even a fraction as good as the live album (which it was NOT!) I even paid cold hard cash to see Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees (for crying out loud) star in St. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. This was a seriously bad movie. So, have you seen Peter Frampton lately? He looks like the CPA that does our taxes. Okay, sorry. We’re supposed to be honest. I’ve never actually met our CPA, but I certainly wouldn’t think twice about giving this guy a copy of my W-2 form.

2) When I’m in a goofy mood, I have a real hard time being serious about anything. Now THAT’s the truth! There are certain things that I don’t think I could ever joke about, but I think life’s too short to be all serious and intense all the time. I figure, God made me the way I am for a reason. I think I can use humor to dispel the notion that being a Christian means not having any fun and possibly reach someone that is can appreciate the spiritual gift of sarcasm. At least, that’s what I’m betting the farm on. Because if God doesn’t have a sense of humor, I think it’s a foregone conclusion that I’m pretty much toast. (Now see, I was going to use another descriptive there, but I cleaned it up. Clearly, I’m maturing, right?)

3) I cannot stand phoniness. I took a spiritual gifts assessment and I scored high in the “mercy” category. But I have neither the time nor the patience for big fat fakers! End of rant.

4) Even though I write like I talk, I do a better job conveying a concept or an idea in writing because when I write, I can spit all this stuff out that’s in my head and not worry about whether it makes sense. I can make it make sense later. Me talking is like the unedited version of a blog post. I get some blank stares. Granted, I probably get a similar reaction when some read my blog, but sometimes that’s intentional. Besides, if people don’t “get” me, it’s not like
there’s any shortage of blogs out there to read.

5) I am a really good friend. No really, I am. If you’re my friend, I’ve totally got your back. Just don’t lie to me. Dishonest people rate right up there with phonies. The only notable exception to this rule would be if I were to ask you, “Do these jeans make my butt look fat?” Cuz if you said no, I know you’re lying. All jeans make my butt look fat. I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of conspiracy.

6) I have close family members that have held on to unforgiveness for over 30 years. It is literally eating them alive from the inside out. It is heartbreaking that they don’t seem to realize that it is poisoning every aspect of their lives. I have tried to talk to them, but since I am the youngest child, in many ways I am still considered that dumb little sister that doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

8) I was raised going to church, but I didn’t have the slightest idea who Jesus really is. Church was somewhere you went on Sunday, heard some relatively amusing stories about whales and arks, a guy named Jesus who really loved the little children, and a big God who knew if you had been naughty or nice. Then everybody got the go to Sizzler for a chopped steak and the all you can eat salad bar.

9) When I was in my twenties, I had a group of friends that did not believe in God. I felt such a sense of fellowship with them that I began to adopt their philosophy of “I believe in myself”, thinking that it was some great truth. This experience helped me realize the importance of developing real, honest relationships with new believers. They long for a connection; a real sense of fellowship. Don’t abandon them. I believe it is Christians, and not God, who have caused people to turn away. I also believe that we will all be held accountable for this – BIG TIME.

10) I skipped number 7. (Just to annoy Angela.)

Everybody’s blogging about their reflections on 2008, their new year’s resolutions, or how they’re not going to make any new year’s resolutions. Me? I gave up quitting. I’m going to a party in a few hours, I need to finish my laundry that I somehow managed to get sidetracked from (shocking, I know), and I need to touch up my roots so I don’t show up at the party looking like I’m wearing a festive skunk hat on my head. (I’ll give you a minute to get that joke…….)

The point is, I don’t have TIME to write a new post. So I’m gonna punt. The following is a post that I wrote way back in June. Since I had a loyal following of approximately 5 readers back then (including my husband and myself), I figured it would be new to most of you. It’s my pseudo-new year’s resolution post. Happy New Year, Don’t drink and drive, and Gee, your hair smells terrific! See you on the other side!

.

But here’s the thing. I strongly believe that when we say “I’ll never do that”, we often condemn ourselves to do exactly what we say we’ll never do. I think the Apostle Paul has a pretty good angle on this one in Romans 7:15-20:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Paul’s pointing out a few things here:

1. Knowledge is not the answer. Before he understood what the law demanded, he was okay. Once he understood this concept, he knew he was doomed.
2. Self-determination or willpower doesn’t succeed. He was doing things that even he found unattractive.
3. Becoming a Christian doesn’t alleviate our struggles with sin and temptation.
4. Being born again requires a moment of faith, but abiding in Christ while allowing Him to abide in us is a lifelong process.
5. We should never underestimate the power of sin, or use or sinful nature as an excuse. We are responsible for our actions and we need to remember that the enemy has already been defeated. Jesus conquered sin once and for all.
6. God’s provision for victory over sin is the Holy Spirit that lives in us and gives us power. When we fall, He lovingly reaches out to help us up.

I learned a long time ago to never say never because you just don’t know what plans God has for you. If you had said to me five years ago that I would leave the church family that I love to start another church, I would have been very tempted to say “I’d never do that.” Again, God has the game plan, I don’t. Here’s a little list of things I said I’d never do before I completely grasped this concept:

1. I’ll never date anyone I work with. (Dated and later married someone who, while wasn’t on the same payroll, was hired to work with my company.)
2. I’ll never date an engineer. (See Number 1.)
3. I’ll never use the television as a babysitter. (Yeah, right. We’re all child experts BEFORE we have kids.)
4. I’ll never spank my kids when I’m angry. (If you wait until you calm down, sometimes you confuse your kids because they forget why they’re being punished. Okay, maybe I’m justifying my bad behavior just a bit.)
5. I’ll never clean my kid’s face with a napkin that I’ve spit on to get wet. (This grossed me out when my mom did it, but sometimes that’s all you have.)
6. I’ll never be a stay at home mom. (Before I had kids, I couldn’t separate my self worth from what I did for a living. Kids give you a whole new perspective on value.)
7. I’ll never lose touch with my childhood buddies. (Sadly, our lives went in completely different directions. I still cherish those memories, but I don’t keep in touch.)
8. I’ll never forgive (insert name here) for (insert injustice here). (The true gift of forgiveness is that it releases your burden, not theirs. Jesus knows what He’s talking about.)
9. I’ll never drink tequila again.
10. I’ll never, EVER drink tequila again. (No really, this time I mean it.)

So with a new understanding of this concept, I’ve updated my top ten list:

1. I’ll never have rock hard abs and buns of steel.
2. I’ll never have the perfect “wash and go” haircut.
3. I’ll never have a pool and spa with a great covered patio in the back yard. (Ron, honey — do you still read my blog?)
4. I’ll never work a healthy diet and exercise routine into my busy life.
5. I’ll never get my house spotlessly clean, professionally organized and immaculately decorated.
6. I’ll never go to Australia and/or New Zealand.
7. I’ll never hear “Wow, I would have guessed you were closer to 30 than 40!”
8. I’ll never let my 6-year old eat Sun chips out of a bowl for breakfast while sitting on the leather sofa watching “Wow! Wow! Wubzy!” (Okay, nix that –it just happened. SEE WHAT I MEAN?! It’s almost scary when you think about it!)
9. I’ll never truly die to my selfish desires and live a life completely sold out to Jesus.
10. I’ll never be able to use this blog as an avenue to reach out to those who have never accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I’ll never be able to communicate that God wants them back, that nothing is too dark, too shameful, too horrible that it cannot be wiped clean by the blood spilled at Calvary. I’ll never be able to convey the insanely beautiful, gut wrenching, life shattering peace that is the Gospel of Christ.

So. There’s my top ten list. Do you have one?

Everybody’s blogging about their reflections on 2008, their new year’s resolutions, or how they’re not going to make any new year’s resolutions. Me? I gave up quitting. I’m going to a party in a few hours, I need to finish my laundry that I somehow managed to get sidetracked from (shocking, I know), and I need to touch up my roots so I don’t show up at the party looking like I’m wearing a festive skunk hat on my head. (I’ll give you a minute to get that joke…….)

The point is, I don’t have TIME to write a new post. So I’m gonna punt. The following is a post that I wrote way back in June. Since I had a loyal following of approximately 5 readers back then (including my husband and myself), I figured it would be new to most of you. It’s my pseudo-new year’s resolution post. Happy New Year, Don’t drink and drive, and Gee, your hair smells terrific! See you on the other side!

.

But here’s the thing. I strongly believe that when we say “I’ll never do that”, we often condemn ourselves to do exactly what we say we’ll never do. I think the Apostle Paul has a pretty good angle on this one in Romans 7:15-20:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Paul’s pointing out a few things here:

1. Knowledge is not the answer. Before he understood what the law demanded, he was okay. Once he understood this concept, he knew he was doomed.
2. Self-determination or willpower doesn’t succeed. He was doing things that even he found unattractive.
3. Becoming a Christian doesn’t alleviate our struggles with sin and temptation.
4. Being born again requires a moment of faith, but abiding in Christ while allowing Him to abide in us is a lifelong process.
5. We should never underestimate the power of sin, or use or sinful nature as an excuse. We are responsible for our actions and we need to remember that the enemy has already been defeated. Jesus conquered sin once and for all.
6. God’s provision for victory over sin is the Holy Spirit that lives in us and gives us power. When we fall, He lovingly reaches out to help us up.

I learned a long time ago to never say never because you just don’t know what plans God has for you. If you had said to me five years ago that I would leave the church family that I love to start another church, I would have been very tempted to say “I’d never do that.” Again, God has the game plan, I don’t. Here’s a little list of things I said I’d never do before I completely grasped this concept:

1. I’ll never date anyone I work with. (Dated and later married someone who, while wasn’t on the same payroll, was hired to work with my company.)
2. I’ll never date an engineer. (See Number 1.)
3. I’ll never use the television as a babysitter. (Yeah, right. We’re all child experts BEFORE we have kids.)
4. I’ll never spank my kids when I’m angry. (If you wait until you calm down, sometimes you confuse your kids because they forget why they’re being punished. Okay, maybe I’m justifying my bad behavior just a bit.)
5. I’ll never clean my kid’s face with a napkin that I’ve spit on to get wet. (This grossed me out when my mom did it, but sometimes that’s all you have.)
6. I’ll never be a stay at home mom. (Before I had kids, I couldn’t separate my self worth from what I did for a living. Kids give you a whole new perspective on value.)
7. I’ll never lose touch with my childhood buddies. (Sadly, our lives went in completely different directions. I still cherish those memories, but I don’t keep in touch.)
8. I’ll never forgive (insert name here) for (insert injustice here). (The true gift of forgiveness is that it releases your burden, not theirs. Jesus knows what He’s talking about.)
9. I’ll never drink tequila again.
10. I’ll never, EVER drink tequila again. (No really, this time I mean it.)

So with a new understanding of this concept, I’ve updated my top ten list:

1. I’ll never have rock hard abs and buns of steel.
2. I’ll never have the perfect “wash and go” haircut.
3. I’ll never have a pool and spa with a great covered patio in the back yard. (Ron, honey — do you still read my blog?)
4. I’ll never work a healthy diet and exercise routine into my busy life.
5. I’ll never get my house spotlessly clean, professionally organized and immaculately decorated.
6. I’ll never go to Australia and/or New Zealand.
7. I’ll never hear “Wow, I would have guessed you were closer to 30 than 40!”
8. I’ll never let my 6-year old eat Sun chips out of a bowl for breakfast while sitting on the leather sofa watching “Wow! Wow! Wubzy!” (Okay, nix that –it just happened. SEE WHAT I MEAN?! It’s almost scary when you think about it!)
9. I’ll never truly die to my selfish desires and live a life completely sold out to Jesus.
10. I’ll never be able to use this blog as an avenue to reach out to those who have never accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I’ll never be able to communicate that God wants them back, that nothing is too dark, too shameful, too horrible that it cannot be wiped clean by the blood spilled at Calvary. I’ll never be able to convey the insanely beautiful, gut wrenching, life shattering peace that is the Gospel of Christ.

So. There’s my top ten list. Do you have one?

Everybody and their brother thinks that they have ADD these days. You can’t swing a stick without hitting 10 people who think that they would benefit from a prescription for Adderall, or at the very least, a significant helping of Ginko Biloba. But trust me, unless you have a green, “do not duplicate under penalty of law” prescription from your doctor, drink your Red Bull cafe latte and relax — you’ve probably just got too much going on.

I, on the other hand, am the Tanya Tucker of Attention Deficit Disorder: I was ADD when ADD wasn’t cool. I fancy myself a bit of an expert on the subject. Or at least, how it affects my relationships with the people in my life. I don’t introduce myself as, “Hi, my name is Kathy and I have ADD”. But if I enter into any type of meaningful relationship with another human being, I need to put that on the table. Otherwise, they end up getting pissed off or offended, or both. Please don’t think I’m trying to make excuses for bad behavior. If I realize that I have been rude (intentionally or not), I deeply regret it and am the first to offer an apology and try to make amends. The problem is “realizing it” part.

I also recognize that there are people who think that ADD and ADHD are just made up conditions to excuse people with poor impulse control, bad manners and lack of discipline. I would invite these people to spend a day inside my head and then get back to me with their in-depth analysis. Good luck with all of THAT!

For those of you who have friends, family and spouses who suffer from this condition and choose to love us anyway, first let me say thank you. It means the world to us. You are the rocks of stability that anchor our crazy, mixed up lives, and I think God has a special place in heaven set aside for heroes such as you.

Now, on to the list:

1. We don’t mean to keep interrupting you. But if we don’t tell you what we want to say, it’s gonna fly out of our heads and be lost forever. And, by the way, it’s really important!
2. That comment we just made makes perfect sense. You just weren’t in on the conversation we started in our heads a couple of minutes ago.
3. When we tell you that something is going to take about an hour to complete, go ahead and add on the rest of the day. We suck at time management.
4. Please don’t ever send us to Wal-mart for just one thing. There’s just way too many things to see before we get to the liquid detergent aisle.
5. We’re really not sure how a loaf of bread, a half gallon of milk and a few other things added up to 87 dollars, but we’re pretty sure we needed that stuff. Okay, we already have 6 bottles of ketchup, but you never know when you’re going to need lots of ketchup.
6. We think it’s really cool that you’re good at complex mathematical equations, but please don’t try to explain it to us. It’s very overwhelming.
7. If you need us to run more than one or two errands within an allotted time period, please make a detailed, step by step list of instructions, then staple it to our foreheads. And be sure to call us and encourage us while were attempting to accomplish aforementioned errands.
8. If at all possible, do not allow us to handle the family finances. We will either drain the bank account by paying every bill as soon as it comes in, or will forget to pay any of them until we get the “red” ones.
9. We are actually very forgiving of what we consider to be your OCD tendencies, and hope that you will return the favor when dealing with our shortcomings. (We’re actually pretty amazed at what you are able to accomplish without any gnashing of teeth, and more than a little jealous.)
10. We crack ourselves up. Seriously, we think we’re hilarious. Please play along.

I’m sure you could add many more items to the list, but then it wouldn’t be a “Top Ten”. “Top 47” is not nearly as catchy! Since I like to add something about Jesus to my posts whenever I can, I’ll share with you my favorite quote from Him. It plays inside my head whenever I mess up (which is pretty regularly):

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

(2 Corinthians 12:9)