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The Results are In

The Winners are Helen and Wendy. (Please email me your 411 – okay, that was kind of lame.) I should send Candy some yard art just for spite, but I’m praying for her ungrateful heart. Also, I think Helen knows me better than some family members.

And now lemme break it down for you people:

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT have done Yesterday:

1. Made red beans and rice for lunch.
True – It was from a box, but it was sprinkled with love.

2. Shot a man just to watch him die.
False – I did not shoot a man to watch him die. On Wednesday.

3. Sent Donald Miller* a tweet with the word frigintastic and got a response to said tweet.
True – He posted a twitpic of a bar that I may or may not have patronized in downtown Austin. I asked if the pic was from downtown Austin, frigintastic! His response: “Absolutely. An Awesome Town.” Not so wordy in the non-book setting.

4. Threatened to kick my kids out in the rain if they messed up my clean house.
True – That’s a no brainer.

5. Got rave reviews from Simon Cowell after singing “Jenny” on American Idol for Wii.
False – I did not play the Wii on Wednesday. But I totally rock that song.

6. Alphabetized my spice rack.
False – I do not own a spice rack. We buy our spices in big redneck vats.

7. Took an extra dose of Ginkgo Biloba for good measure.
True – Having kids home from school unexpectedly requires contingency plans.

8. Booked 2 appointments with potential new clients for next week.
True – I’m fixin’ to get really busy.

8 Shows I MAY OR MAY NOT Watch

1. Best Show in the History of Television (also known as The Deadliest Catch)
True – nuff said.

2. Dancing with the Stars
False – That show is for girly girls. I’m not exactly rocking a mullet and birkenstock sandals, but I have a bit more testosterone than your average female. And say what you will about the athletic prowess of Emmitt Smith, as far as I’m concerned, he surrendered his man card when he agreed to be on that show.

3. CSI Miami
False – Sorry – David Caruso as Grown-up Angry Opie from The Andy Griffin Show doesn’t do it for me.

True – That show rocks.

5. CSI Las Vegas
True – That show also rocks. Even though I really miss Grissom and Warrick Brown. I loved me some Grissom and Warrick Brown!

6. Dirtiest Jobs
True – Mike Rowe is the second sexiest man alive, my dh being the numero uno.

7. Myth Busters
True – Blowing stuff up is awesome. Plus, if I were a tv star, I would want to be Kari Byron. She’s an artist and a knife thrower. How cool is that? She also referred to someone as a hippy, crystal gripping tree hugger on the show.

8. The Office
True That’s what she said.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do (or might actually be able to do):

1. Paint with either hand.
True – I am right/left brain confused, but sometimes it comes in handy.

2. Juggle.
False – I am a klutz of epic proportions. Juggling requires eye hand coordination.

3. Write song parodies a-la Weird Al Yankovitz.
True – I once wrote Christian lyrics to “Walk This Way” by Aerosmith. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it was my friend J.D.’s going away gift. I also wrote a parody of the song “Church on Fire” for a departing pastor who was fond of the tacky Hawaiin shirt entitled “Shirt on Fire”. I do not heart that song.

4. Recite the preamble to the Constitution.
True – I grew up on Schoolhouse Rock.

5. Play the harmonica.
False – Although I play slightly better than Alanis Morrisette.

6. Roller Skate backwards.
True – I am ALL up in that! I can skate better backward than forwards.

7. Make awesome chicken enchiladas.
True – They are awesomatastic!

8. Sing “American Pie” in its entirety (the long version) by memory.
False – Sad, but true. Dig that song, though.

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT be Looking Forward To:

1. Meeting some of my bloggity gal pals this summer.
True – Heck yeah!

2. Tomorrow.
True – New day. Fresh start.

3. Redoing my guest bathroom.
True – I’m planning on making a mancave for my dh.

4. Old age.
True – Even though I wish I had more nieces and nephews. Crazy Aunt Kathy has a nicer ring to it than my Crazy Mother.

5. Catching up on a season’s worth of American Idol on Tivo.
False – That show made me mad when they voted off Dirty Rocker Chris Daughtry. I watch from time to time, but I think this year’s talent is rather sucktacular.

6. Going to my husband’s high school reunion.
True – Like I’m gonna say False. He reads my blog, you know. Not every day, mind you. But it’s sort of like random drug testing. You just never know. Besides, what’s not to like about being around a bunch of people telling you stuff about your spouse that you might not know?

7. Going to Japan with my mom someday soon.
True – Although I’ll probably have to sell a kidney to be able to afford it.

8. The premiere of the movie “New Moon”.
True – Also, did you know that there’s a 5th book? Twilight from Edward Cullen’s perspective. Oh, heck yeah!

There you have it. Thirty-two things you never wanted to know about katdish. I will now open up the comments section to completely random and totally unrelated comments…

Another Top Ten List: Twilight Edition

Hello my friends. It’s been awhile since I posted a top ten list, and since I just finished reading Twilight and watching the movie, I’ve been inspired to share another one with you.

The Top Ten things I may or may not have been inspired to do after reading/watching Twilight:

Number 10:
Delete everything from my flair board on Facebook and heretofore only accept Edward Cullen/Twilight flair.

Number 9:
Throw out my bare minerals loose powder and buy a shade 4 shades lighter than my natural skin color.

Number 8:
Refuse to answer to any name other than Bella or Alice.

Number 7:
Begin to think that my klutzy tendencies are downright adorable.

Number 6:
Wonder how my husband would look with bronze hair.

Number 5:
Start acting like a fourteen year old angst-filled girl.

Number 4:
Have my teeth whitened and sharpened.

Number 3:
Buy a new Twilight calendar and begin marking the days off until the “New Moon” movie premiere with a red Sharpie.

Number 2:
Secretly replace my husband’s moisturizing lotion with glittering after-sun lotion.

Number 1:
Finish this blog post, lock myself in my room and finish reading the second book in the series.

Gotta go now…talk amongst yourselves….