Top Ten Things that your friend/signifcant other with ADD wants you to know, but keeps forgetting to tell you…

Everybody and their brother thinks that they have ADD these days. You can’t swing a stick without hitting 10 people who think that they would benefit from a prescription for Adderall, or at the very least, a significant helping of Ginko Biloba. But trust me, unless you have a green, “do not duplicate under penalty of law” prescription from your doctor, drink your Red Bull cafe latte and relax — you’ve probably just got too much going on.

I, on the other hand, am the Tanya Tucker of Attention Deficit Disorder: I was ADD when ADD wasn’t cool. I fancy myself a bit of an expert on the subject. Or at least, how it affects my relationships with the people in my life. I don’t introduce myself as, “Hi, my name is Kathy and I have ADD”. But if I enter into any type of meaningful relationship with another human being, I need to put that on the table. Otherwise, they end up getting pissed off or offended, or both. Please don’t think I’m trying to make excuses for bad behavior. If I realize that I have been rude (intentionally or not), I deeply regret it and am the first to offer an apology and try to make amends. The problem is “realizing it” part.

I also recognize that there are people who think that ADD and ADHD are just made up conditions to excuse people with poor impulse control, bad manners and lack of discipline. I would invite these people to spend a day inside my head and then get back to me with their in-depth analysis. Good luck with all of THAT!

For those of you who have friends, family and spouses who suffer from this condition and choose to love us anyway, first let me say thank you. It means the world to us. You are the rocks of stability that anchor our crazy, mixed up lives, and I think God has a special place in heaven set aside for heroes such as you.

Now, on to the list:

1. We don’t mean to keep interrupting you. But if we don’t tell you what we want to say, it’s gonna fly out of our heads and be lost forever. And, by the way, it’s really important!
2. That comment we just made makes perfect sense. You just weren’t in on the conversation we started in our heads a couple of minutes ago.
3. When we tell you that something is going to take about an hour to complete, go ahead and add on the rest of the day. We suck at time management.
4. Please don’t ever send us to Wal-mart for just one thing. There’s just way too many things to see before we get to the liquid detergent aisle.
5. We’re really not sure how a loaf of bread, a half gallon of milk and a few other things added up to 87 dollars, but we’re pretty sure we needed that stuff. Okay, we already have 6 bottles of ketchup, but you never know when you’re going to need lots of ketchup.
6. We think it’s really cool that you’re good at complex mathematical equations, but please don’t try to explain it to us. It’s very overwhelming.
7. If you need us to run more than one or two errands within an allotted time period, please make a detailed, step by step list of instructions, then staple it to our foreheads. And be sure to call us and encourage us while were attempting to accomplish aforementioned errands.
8. If at all possible, do not allow us to handle the family finances. We will either drain the bank account by paying every bill as soon as it comes in, or will forget to pay any of them until we get the “red” ones.
9. We are actually very forgiving of what we consider to be your OCD tendencies, and hope that you will return the favor when dealing with our shortcomings. (We’re actually pretty amazed at what you are able to accomplish without any gnashing of teeth, and more than a little jealous.)
10. We crack ourselves up. Seriously, we think we’re hilarious. Please play along.

I’m sure you could add many more items to the list, but then it wouldn’t be a “Top Ten”. “Top 47” is not nearly as catchy! Since I like to add something about Jesus to my posts whenever I can, I’ll share with you my favorite quote from Him. It plays inside my head whenever I mess up (which is pretty regularly):

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

(2 Corinthians 12:9)

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